Let’s face it, life is hard. You’ve been beaten down time after time and just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, you have to watch someone else achieve everything you’ve dreamed of. Learning how to be happy for others can be a lonely process filled with jealousy and insecurity. However, with some mindset shift and retrospection, becoming happy for others can bring immense joy to your life and the people around you.
1 Identify How You Feel
The very first step to tackling this issue is taking the time to look deep into yourself and ask why?
Why am I feeling negative toward another’s success? Why am I feeling jealous? Don’t I want others to be happy too?
Oftentimes, negative feelings of jealousy and spite thrive from insecurity within yourself. Someone’s success threatens you, and makes you feel unsafe. This feeling can force you to reevaluate your own success and question if there is something wrong with you.
Your best friend just landed the job of her dreams, your sister just got back from her summer backpacking trip, or some random person online just hit 100,000 followers. Instead of being bitter, find it in yourself to seek joy.
Being bitter toward these achievements only proves to yourself that you have an insecurity in that area of life. Those who are secure with where they are at in life, are the most excited to see others thrive.
2 It’s Not a Competition
When others succeed, oftentimes it feels like we are failing. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The fact that someone else has done something, only proves to you that it is that much more possible. In fact, we are all infinitely capable of doing and experiencing anything we put our minds to.
There is an abundance of success and fulfillment out there waiting for each person, and ones success does not knock your odds in any way.
You can’t compare your season 1 to their season 7. Everyone is at a different point in their journey and it wouldn’t be fair to either of you to make a comparison.
3 Spin it To Find Motivation
Watching from the sidelines can be difficult, however it can inspire motivation on your end. Your friend just came back from Europe, so why don’t you plan a trip there next summer?
You can be happy for your friend in a way that you share similar goals and find motivation to keep going because it is possible.
Seeing others happy, can push you to see a fresh perspective on life and ignite a new fire within you.
4 ReFrame Scarcity Mindset
Scarcity is a mindset that likes to keep us small, in our comfort zone. Saying “I can’t do this because…” or “I can’t experience that because…” is holding you back. Mindset is everything and more.
Seeing others complete your dreams should prove to you that it is that much more possible and out there for you to achieve.
Sometimes it takes seeing another person in a position that you desire in order for you to put that extra energy in and go after what you want.
5 You Are Most Like Your Inner Circle
We should be proud of those close to us instead of subconsciously hoping they fail so we feel better about ourselves. Why?
Because the success of those around you, directly influences the success that you will face. Therefore, the happiness of your close circle directly affects your happiness.
We are most like the 5 people we are closest to; humans are extremely impressional, a lot more than many like to admit. When someone close to you is happy and successful, applaud them because you are more of a team than you think.
Competition is the hardest with yourself. Looking around at others and measuring where you stand, will not help you in the long run. It will only slow you down.
6 Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Now imagine you are the one succeeding. Do you ever remember a time where you would withhold information to keep someone’s feelings in check, or told someone about your excitement for them to immediately shut it down?
Don’t be this person for the people you love. You would want someone to be happy for you when you succeed, so be happy for them as well.
Good energy attracts good energy. Life is less about competition and more about connections. Compete with your yesterday self, and connect with those around you.
7 Happiness is a choice
Life will happen to you and throw every curve ball your way. You can either claim to be a victim, or choose how you react.
Happiness is often believed to be something that is achieved. You won a competition, you scored a big promotion, you married the love of your life. All of these events will bring feelings of happiness, but the true happiness comes from within.
Learning how to be happy for others takes deep introspection and awareness.
You can choose how you want to react and it will physically change how you feel. It is your choice to be happy for others, and in return, you will find happiness for yourself.